Feeling Overwhelmed

What to do when pressure starts weighing her down


The habits of men versus women have almost single-handedly kept most of the standup comedians out there in business.

But feeling overwhelmed because of financial pressures, which happens to women three times as much as it does to men, is no laughing matter.

According to a new survey by Financial Finesse, 9% of women reported feeling "overwhelming" financial stress as opposed to 3% of guys. Those numbers may not be huge in and of themselves, but they show a trend of how the two sexes tend to react when money troubles come calling.

We want to make one thing very clear. This doesn't mean women are weaker—this means they process things differently. Most women look at having money as a security issue. When money isn't there, their stress level acts up. Since guys tend to view money as a scorecard, they may feel a little dejected if their investments are down, but not necessarily overwhelmed.

Guys, if your wife is feeling overwhelmed by money turmoil, the first thing you need to do is comfort her. Since the number one cause of divorce in America today is money fights and money problems, financial stress can spill over and affect other areas of a person's life. To her, the whole world might feel like it's coming down.

When tension is raised over money, quickly bring yourself back down to earth and reassure your wife that your marriage will stay strong and firm throughout. When you to get through tough times together—as a team—that can really calm her.

Once money woes are plaguing you to the point that you lie awake at night or cry during the day, then the debt situation has gotten too dire. Time to shake things up! Both of you have taken that deep breath, and it's time to go into attack mode.

Amputate the lifestyle and get a second job. Live on nothing and start paying stuff off. If you are so emotionally drained over not having money, then you won't look at these things as sacrifices when you are getting out of debt.

Instead, they'll seem like a way to peace. Which, when compared with stress, sounds pretty good.

Source: Daily Finance

Reader Comments (6)

Female, married 10 years, 2 small kids, forced to go back to work but enjoying it...I totally agree. I never realized my anxiety was about security until Dave. Now that I & my DH know why I get worked up we can avoid it buy just keeping the $1000 where it should be. Socked away for the rain day!
Member at 10:54 AM, July 13 2011
I was feeling this same exact way on my way home from work today! My husband has to read this!
Member at 9:54 PM, July 14 2011
Before Dave, we had no plan, no savings, and consumer=stupid debt of 50% of our gross income was eating up 35% of our take home and my wife would wake up in the middle of the night crying. 6 months in, we have $1000 in savings, we are on a budget and plan, debt will be gone in 3 months, and my wife is sleeping calmly through the night. Sometimes we're gazelles, sometimes we're more like pregnant hippos, but thanks to Dave we're on the path to security. Guys, for your wives' sakes, get with the program.
Member at 12:10 AM, July 17 2011
@jarecki- I love your message. Can you call my husband? lol
Member at 9:51 AM, November 16 2011
Before I listed to Dave Ramsey on the radio long enough to build up enough cognitive dissonance to make me decide I had to do something about our finances, I was convinced that my wife thought we were doing very well. We were paying all our bills, had cut lifestyle a bunch, but we had all the money we'd managed to save sitting in a checking account while we made payments on student loans, a car note and a mortgage. When I finally told her that I wanted to do things differently, I thought she would be hard to bring on board. She reacted with relief. I am convinced now that she was much more anxious about our finances than I ever was, but like me, she thought her spouse was happy with the status quo and would resist any change (if you're saying, "Why didn't you just talk to each other?" you're right; we worked on our marriage until we got to the point where we could talk to each other about finances, not the other way around.) She felt completely overwhelmed and, what's more, she was convinced that it wasn't going to change, at least not for another 20 years or so. Now she knows that she helped turn our lives around in a couple of short years.
Member at 1:08 PM, January 07 2012
Jarecko "Sometimes we're gazelles, sometimes we're more like pregnant hippos" LOVE IT!
Member at 3:04 PM, January 10 2012